Excerpt from Dreams

Mrs. Coulter (p. 212)

From chapter "The Bear"

I am dreaming. In this dream I see a pond. I see frogs. I see under- water worms. I see underwater insects. I see snails. I walk away from this pond. I am walking through a city. A woman, who I know in the dream represents this culture, the culture of my birth, wants to find this pond, find these frogs, find these worms, insects, snails, wants to cut them all in two—like Mrs. Coulter and the Magisterium in the novel The Golden Compass, who wanted to separate children from their daemons, their souls—to steal their knowledge, to harness the energy she could gain by splitting them into component parts and thereby not just killing, but destroying them. She asks me where they are. I will not tell her. She tries to get inside my mind, tries to read my thoughts, tries to influence my thoughts and behavior, tries to makeme tell her, tries to steal my knowledge from me. In this dream I have been taught— somewhere, by someone—how to not let her inside my mind, and I am grateful for having been taught this lesson. When she cannot read my thoughts, she rages at me, tells me I know nothing, tells me I am nothing without her, tells me she will harm me, tells me she will split me body from soul, tells me she will not just kill, but will destroy me, too. When still I do not tell her where to find the pond, those frogs, worms, insects, snails, she tries to seduce me, tries to bribe me, tries to give me power, money, anything she can think of to try to get me to tell her. I do not. Then her rage returns. I walk away. I wake up.